Forget Entitlement, Try Empowerment Instead.

John and I love, love watching comedy shows. No joke. Most sets we can take and leave some of the jokes. The best one on Netflix right now has to be Aziz Ansari: Right Now. I really like Whitney Cummings: Can I Touch It?. There were some weird things about a robot, but what she had to say about women was pretty funny.

“Women today have gotten Empowerment mixed up with Entitlement.” 

“Women today have gotten Empowerment mixed up with Entitlement.” 

Whitney Cummings

Here’s a little excerpt from her set:

“I think the biggest thing I want to work on with my girl friends is telling the difference between empowerment and entitlement. It’s a fine line. Very easy to confuse those two. Like I have this one girl friend, she thinks she’s very empowered, but she’s actually just entitled and it comes out in the way that she complains that no man is good enough for her, even though all she does is talk about astrology and go to music festivals. She has no concept of what she deserves. Like, she will go to a music festival for five days and do drugs the entire time, and then she’ll come back and she’ll be like, “I told you, there’s just no good men out there.” No, there are good men out there. They’re just at home with their good women. You’re never going to meet them…”

Hahaha she’s definitely a little exaggerated. But c’mon we’ve had a friend or been that girl at some point.

My mother-in-law talked about this with me once. I believe we were talking about how to save the world –– haha like we do. She said, “I just think there are a lot of selfish women out there. We feel entitled.” I don’t think this stuck out to me because she was so blunt or sounded negative. I think her statement stood out to me because of who my mother-in-law is at her core. She is a strong woman. She’s raised 8 kids, grew her own business, is the best at creating a home and goes to the grocery store more than anyone I know. She doesn’t take crap. So when she said that women are entitled she had my attention. 


You might be asking yourself the same question I had to ask myself –– what is the difference between entitlement and empowerment? I really think it’s a mindset. Instead of feeling like you deserve, your mindset should be I get to. 


I’ll give you an example: instead of saying you deserve a great guy maybe switching that mindset: I get to work on myself enough until I am healthy enough to choose and work on a healthy relationship. I think this mindset focuses more on the ways we are currently empowered by being women vs. feeling entitled to by being women. Being entitled stops with yourself, while being empowered can help everyone around you and beyond. 


Back to my mother-in-law. Like I said she has raised 8 kids and would raise more if she could. She’s empowered as a woman. Being empowered to be girl bosses, to speak up for fair pay, to vote, to be a stay at home mom with a side hustle, to gather a bunch of women around you for support, to raise a family and solely focus on that… We get to. We can. 


Women who are empowered, know their options and do two things: fight so that others can have options and decide to sacrifice dreams, goals, and time for others. My mom really wanted to do many things. She wanted to finish school, she wanted to go to Africa… she had lots of plans. But she really put everything on hold for my siblings and I. The older I get the more I appreciate her sacrifice. Watching my friends be new parents has been inspiring too. Secondly, women who are empowered will not blame others for their life. Women who are empowered, take responsibility for their life, their decisions, and the choices they’ve made. They don’t let someone else dictate where their life goes, however, they do let sacrifice lead their choices. This is something I really want to keep working on, specifically in my marriage. You have the choice to sacrifice for others. Be empowered.

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